Go The Fuck Outside

Really, it's too nice out to be "posting" about "what's happening" in the "world." Have you guys even heard of flying discs? I mean Frisbees, but we don't want to slapped with a lawsuit by the Wham-O company. Yeah, that's their legal business name. Still though, stop reading this! Where do you live, up in Maine or something? It's warm everywhere today. The sun is shining on fucking everybody. So quick, before the Grizzly Old Man In The Sky (sky cake!) gets angry at how much fun we're having and sends another nor'easter around to remind us who's boss, go outside. You have the internet on your phone, don't you? It's 2010! No, I know, I just got railed for $128.95 in "data charges" from Verizon because "Rock Band uses airtime" is a lot different than "Rock Band comes with one song and then we are going to fucking murder you by forcibly downloading more songs until your phone catches on fire." It's not even a good game! It's sucks. I will grant you that Frisbees also use airtime, but that's totally different, man. Don't even act like you don't still have a hacky sack somewhere in your patchouli-smelling odds-and-ends drawer that followed you through Bud Ice-soaked nights growing up in the suburbs and frost-bitten nights in college where you just had to sack man or you would fucking die I swear to god, dudes. Plus, you are as pale as a fucking ghost. Get that melanin, son!