Hipp: still not sure why the Kardashians are famous.
Andrea: me either.
Hipp: as far as I can tell, one of them dated a football player and had a sex tape, and the other two are famous for being extraordinarily ugly wonks.
Andrea: Joel McHale always says, "Kim Kardashian, famous for having a big ass and a sex tape..."
Hipp: they're also the daughters of the guy from OJ's defense team. but really, why did anyone think anyone should care? why do these girls think anyone should care?
Andrea: I know it is not news that reality shows are staged, but that show is so painfully obviously staged.
Hipp: I've never seen it.
Hipp: I really missed the boat on reality TV, and thus, our modern culture.
Hipp: I watched the first season of Survivor, three-ish seasons of The Real World (before it became mostly famewhores), maybe one season of Road Rules.
Hipp: I guess Kitchen Nightmares counts, but that's not reality TV. that's Shakespearean drama.
Andrea: I watch Top Chef and 16 And Pregnant
Andrea: and Intervention
Hipp: God, I watched the Real Life: I Go To The Jersey Shore On Weekends All Summer And Am Well-Tanned And Slightly Metrosexual But Totally Not Gay And Definitely Into Stereotypically "Jersey" Girls. it was horrible.
Andrea: oh, True Life, you mean?
Hipp: yeah, either one is about as accurate.
Andrea: True Life is really hit-or-miss depending on the subject.
Hipp: I got suckered in because I was watching the one that aired right before it about people who cheat on other people.
Andrea: True Life: I'm Getting Married is AWESOME.
Hipp: why is it awesome?
Andrea: because the people are total train wrecks.
Hipp: all people are. just look out your window.
Hipp: could be worse. could be True Blood.
Andrea: that show looks awful.
Hipp: it is awful.
Andrea: I have seen, like, half an episode, and it was really silly.
Hipp: the main character is a fucking idiot. and all of the vampires are portrayed like normal people with slightly different problems.
Hipp: which means they're as boring as normal people.
Andrea: OH
Andrea: so I was making a doctor's appointment, and the hold music was that song that plays throughout American Beauty.
Andrea: WTF????
Hipp: could be worse. could've been "Brick" by Ben Folds Five
Hipp: or "The Freshmen"
Andrea: hahaha
Hipp: those two songs should be the hold music for abortion clinics
Andrea: is "The Freshmen" about abortion too?
Hipp: are you serious?
Andrea: yes?
Andrea: hold on, let me google the lyrics
Andrea: eh. still sounds pretty vague to me.
Hipp: still not sure how you outscored me on the SATS
Well, that didn't take very long. Here are some more thoughts on the finale of Lost, stolen from iamtheblog's Eric Schwortz, who also makes noise with a band called Milagres.
Anyone who expected answers to all the pseudo-scientific questions was probably missing the point the entire time. There, I said it. now, allow me to do the one thing LOST never set out to do: explain.
Much like Twin Peaks, LOST mashed a lot of genres together. David Lynch seemingly set out to make a really dark, supernatural freak-fest dressed up as a soap opera, and ultimately the resolution (and entire second season) were extremely disappointing. LOST was a drama about interpersonal relationships, choices, actions, love and death (a soap opera) dressed up as a paranormal, mad-scientist weirdo-parade. the reason Twin Peaks failed is because it lost its heart in its second act. the superficial mask of humanity simply didn’t remain intact, and it was difficult to care about the characters anymore. LOST kept its heart in the right place. The rest doesn’t really matter.
Maybe how you feel about the show’s resolution comes down to the kind of “man” you are (women, please excuse the reduction for the sake of reference). are you a man of science, or a man of faith? regardless of what LOST meant by "faith," I don’t mean it in the judeo-christian sense. What I mean is: what matters to you, logistics or humanity?
Did you not truly care about many of these characters? Their back-stories were rich and complex. The acting was often top-notch, and the emotion was often very real for those of us watching (and apparently for the cast, as well). The polar bear, the hatch, and the three-toed statue were devices to draw us in. The mysteries are what kept us watching—not what we were rewarded with in the end. The show was always at its best when we were left in the dark. Answers could only be disappointing. Twin Peaks is as good an example of this as any.
LOST left us with a lot more than answers, though; it brought something special to television viewers who demanded more from the medium than Slut Town and American’s Next Top Grilled Cheese Sandwich. The true test of an important, timeless show is its contribution to enriching culture. When a taxi cab zips by while its receipt is still printing, you’ll remember the black smoke. As you approach the check-out counter at the supermarket, you’ll think of the button.
Think of your favorite character on the show, and then try to forget that character. Try to imagine a world in which that character never existed. Depending on who you pick, it might seem impossible, because a lot of the characters don’t really seem all that fictional. I don’t personally want to live in a world—or a flash-sideways—where Sawyer, Hurley and Charlie don’t exist. I care about those characters. More importantly, I have friends and loved ones—old and new—who feel the same way.
LOST was essentially about a shared experience: the experience of crash landing on a weird island and learning to live together in the hopes of eventual rescue. Watching the show was the same: the shared experience of watching people crash land on a weird island while trying to understand what was happening in the hopes of resolution. Not everyone on the island lived long enough to escape, and not all of us felt satisfied with the show’s resolution, but we did it together without having to watch American Idol.
The show’s finale made no attempt to hide the fact that LOST was (and always has been) about love. It’s about the people in your life that you’ve come to care for, and that you’d risk your life to protect. That’s what life is about, too. In the end, the polar bears and hatches and buttons and three-toed statues in life don’t really matter.
And hey, it gave us something much more thought-provoking to talk about than Celebrity Whatever.
Here's the official editorial line regarding LOST, the greatest/worst show in the history of the world: it's over. Whether you loved the finale, hated it, oe didn't know it was even happening, all is now said and done, and unlike some websites, we don't get extra ad revenue from commenters refreshing the same post and waxing philosophic. Suffice to say, at least one editor on the payroll is satisfied with how things turned out. That's the final word on LOST*.
* Until we have something else to say.
Apparently I only post about things I read in the Times. The good news is that means none of you have to read the Times.
The episode of South Park that aired last night had to be altered because Matt and Trey received a threat from a group called Revolution Muslim after the episode that aired last week featured the Prophet Muhammad dressed up in a bear suit. This week's episode basically had all of the same things in it as last week's except they bleeped out the word Muhammad. Both episodes also involved Buddah snorting crack and Jesus discussing his porn addiction, but I guess no one cared about that.
I don't watch South Park that much anymore, but I thought these episodes were funnier than the last few I've seen. At the same time I can see why Matt and Trey might be a little nervous. The threat was written by Abu Talhah Al-Amrikee and posted on Revolution Muslim's blog. It included a graphic photo of filmmaker Theo Van Gogh who was murdered in 2004 after making a documentary about abuses against Muslim women. Al-Amrikee has since insisted the post was simply a prediction of what could happen to them and not a threat. Buddhists and Christians have yet to issue similar "warnings," although I'm not sure what those would look like. A picture of the beetles they're going to be reincarnated into? A picture of baby Jesus looking disappointed in them?
In a move that's nothing short of baffling, Conan O'Brien has signed on to TBS for a late night show that will cast George Lopez as his Conan. The show, which will start at 11pm, would theoretically be freer to be juvenile and push the envelope, but then again, we're talking about TBS, a channel that reruns Friends nearly 12 hours a day and has so little content that they have space for 24-hour A Christmas Story marathons. Steve Koonin, Turner Entertainment Networks president, said in a statement:
“For decades, late-night TV has been dominated by broadcast television. Now, with a young audience and a growing late-night lineup, TBS is set to be the choice of comedy fans for years to come.”
Koonin should probably take a look at Comedy Central's numbers among that most cherished of demographics and rethink that statement. More importantly, if Conan was crushed by his older counterpart, Dave Letterman, a man who has a similar sense of humor to O'Brien, how will the Great Red Hope fare against Jon Stewart, the uncontested king of late night cable television?
JUST FUCKING TELL US ALREADY!!!!1!
Now that Nestor Carbonell has made a serious fucking Emmy bid with last night's Richard Alpert backstory bonanza on Lost, we know more about Alpert than we ever did. Many had speculated that he was immortal, that he was on the Black Rock, that his beard is more powerful than Jacob. We know these things to be true now, but one question haunts me, particularly: what is the Lost-Batmanuel connection? Also, now that we've remembered that he was in the live-action version of The Tick, how are we supposed to take him seriously as Richard Alpert? Oh, that's right: because last night, Carbonell did some of the best acting Lost has ever seen. He made Michael Emerson look like some punk kid in a car commercial.
So, I'm a week behind on The Office, mostly because I just don't care anymore. And last week's episode, "St. Patrick's Day," was totally boring and proved me right. But one glimmer of promise was Darryl impressing Sabre CEO Kathy Bates enough with his new ideas for shipping that he got his own office upstairs. Could this mean MORE DARRYL? My favorite moments on The Office ever have been mostly Darryl-centric, like when he realized Michael was wearing a ladies' suit or coached him through asking Jan for a raise. And for my money, Craig Robinson was also the best thing about The 40 Year Old Virgin ("You are old as hell. I mean for this club, not for, you know, the Earth.") We need less Pam and Jim, less Toby, less Meredith, and definitely less Andy and Erin (It's just pathetic now. And what was that weird thing about her maybe getting with her foster brother? So gross.) I want more Kelly, more Stanley, more Kevin, and DEFINITELY CAN'T GET ENOUGH DARRYL. Otherwise, if I had a TIVO I would definitely be un-Tivoing this shit.
